This You Don't Know....

This Pain You Don't Know

When times get tough
And you want to die
You sit in your room
Turn out the lights and cry.
You can’t hold back,
Although you want to
You try not to care
But the pain haunts you.
The feeling of temptation
Is nothing you can write
The only thing you can do
Is bare it and fight.
This feeling feels endless
It keeps getting stronger
The thought of it not leaving
Just makes it stay longer.
It’s a feeling of hate
Of death and destruction
You are crying so hard
You can’t even function.
You just want to die
But you think of your friends
Your family, your future
And your stomach now bends.
Your mind says just do it
But your heart screams no
You are so confused
“I’ll be gone, so?!”
You don’t want to live
But you don’t want to die
The pain keeps on building
And you just lie there and cry.
You ask God to help you
You think he’s not there
You think that he left you
That he doesn’t even care.
You want to call your friend
But she made you cry
It’s not all because of her
That tonight you want to die.
You call other people
Who don’t pick up their phone.
And suddenly you feel
Like you are all alone.
“Why is this happening?
What did I do?!
Where are you God?
Man I hate you!!"
I am a good kid
I get good grades
I did nothing wrong
Yet my life still fades.
I’m in total darkness
Stuck in a nightmare
Confused out of my mind
Because it’s not fair.
This feeling of hell
That’s now in my heart
Is throwing me down
And tearing me apart
It causes much pain
Sometimes I don’t know why
But I do know that
I just want to die.
I can’t stand it anymore
It’ll probably be better
I will just sit in my bedroom
I’ll write a letter.
A letter saying sorry
But I had to go
I just couldn’t stand “it”:
This pain you don’t know.

~anonymous~